Battle Beyond The Magnificent Five Space Raiders Stars

Updated: Nov 17, 2019

Space Raiders (1983) – Sci-Fi, Action, Adventure – Amazon Prime

Thought I would settle down with a film from my childhood this afternoon and Amazon Prime kindly delivered this gem. Luckily for me Shell is out working on her dissertation or I would never have gotten away with this.

Basically, a child hides on board a ship to get out of the way during a robbery and the ship gets robbed as well by the title anti-heroes ‘Space Raiders’. Child gets discovered, child wins the crew round, evil alien gang boss dislikes child, evil alien gang boss gets ‘Space Raiders’ to do a job for him. Planet the child is from goes after ‘Space Raiders’ with big ship. One by one ‘Space Raiders’ die whilst protecting child. Child gets home.

And to be honest this could have all been prevented, because just before the child jumps on the ship, he is sitting with two of the ‘Space Raiders’ and their dying comrade listening to them saying that the are going to get him aboard aforementioned ship. But child jumps into ship anyway, if he had just hidden behind some crates and seeing as they were in a warehouse with many, many stacks of crates, it was not beyond the realms of believability that, that is what he might have done. Then the ‘Space Raiders’ could have lived long(ish) happy lives stealing to their hearts content whilst he grew up untroubled by the evilness of his planets rulers and the fact that at least four people are dead because of him, actually a heck of a lot more as the Big Ship sent by the planet knocked off a lot of unnamed pirates as well.

It has to be mentioned that a vast amount of special effects and music in this film is ‘recycled’ from ‘Battle Beyond the Stars’ which in itself is a very dodgy(but ultimately superb in my opinion) version of ‘The Magnificent Seven’ in space with George Peppard playing a ‘Space Cowboy’.

So, with all this taken into account and the fact it is 37 years old, you might be assuming that it is a big pile of poo. But, no, I love this film, it is tackily superb, ever scene is telegraphed by the one before it, the acting is hardly Shakespeare worthy, the Special Effects are like my Primary Class have been asked to make a film using what I have in the classroom and the story is a little bit unbelievable, however, throw it all into a giant mixing bowl of nostalgia and what you end up with is a Chocolate Cake of Saturday afternoon film watching. A (pretty much everyone who reads this is going to disagree with me and if I have convinced anyone to watch this, it will be a nearly Christmas Miracle) unscored/20. This film is too goodly bad to blighten it with a score.

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